Painted Orange

love shines on

When Hope is Dead.

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Have you ever desired something in life? I am not talking about cookie dough cravings — I am talking about that deep guttural longing and hope, that thing you pray about before you go to bed and when you wake up. I’m talking about that thing you know God has promised you, that thing you yearn to see fulfilled. Disclaimer: just because you want something doesn’t make it a promise. But when God whispers a promise, and you know when he does, I feel we should take him at his word.

It might be traveling the world, or seeing your family coming to Christ, or getting married.

But what happens when that promise takes a long time in coming? Or worse, when something happens that makes you doubt it all. What if  you find out that your brother, who has been making progress in recovering from addiction, suddenly relapses? Or what happens when your boyfriend, whom you swore was the man you were going to marry, breaks up with you?

I recently had something like that happen to me, and it made me seriously doubt what had been promised me. It made me angry and confused, and I shut God out of the conversation. I felt like I couldn’t trust the good things he was saying anymore, especially about this.

I remember telling God that he could talk to me about anything — except this one thing. I was done with it; I didn’t believe his promise anymore. I would stick my fingers in my ears whenever he spoke hope to my heart, because having my hope let down hurt like hell.

But while I insisted in behaving like a child, God continued to pursue me. And if he couldn’t speak to me about it when I was awake, then he would speak to me in sleep.

That’s right: God gave me a dream, just like he gave to his followers in Biblical times. And when I awoke, he left his words on my lips.

Am I not capable?

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You see, I had come to a point where I thought it was on me. That thing he had promised me I picked up, and it rested squarely upon my shoulders. I thought I had to make it happen. I prayed, I fasted, I took risks, and I felt like it had amounted to nothing.

And because it had not happened the way I had imagined, I came away with three possible conclusions: God was a liar, I had made a mistake somewhere, OR God wasn’t done yet.

I chose conclusion number two, because we all know God isn’t a liar, and hope was too much for me to bear. It was easier to think that I was the one at fault.

I repented. I asked God where I had gone wrong and desperately imagined ways to make it right. I was considering a bunch of different paths to make God’s promise happen. Because somewhere along the line I began to think that the promises of God were up to me.

I was a wreck inside when God spoke it to me again. Am I not capable? His words stunned me into silence.

Am I not the God who created the heavens and the earth? Am I not the one who put death in its grave? Am I not the one who died and rose again? Am I not capable of fulfilling your promise?

It was a burning bush moment. And it reminded me of the disciples.

You see, the disciples had given everything to follow this guy named Jesus. They ate up what he said and believed in his promises. He was the chosen one, the Messiah, and they were absolutely convinced of it.

Then their Messiah was sentenced to death on a cross. And suddenly this man who they had put all their faith in was gone.

You can bet they were confused. They were probably wrestling with whether or not Jesus had lied to them, or whether it was their fault for believing in the first place. The Scriptures make it very clear that the disciples had no comprehension of what was happening when their Savior died.

I believe those days were dark and confusing. I’m sure they felt foolish for preaching hope when now their hope was dead.

But then, three days later, Jesus rose again. And finally it all made sense. Jesus wasn’t a liar, and they hadn’t misunderstood that he was the Savior. The truth was the third option. Jesus wasn’t done yet, even when he was in the grave.

Listen to me. Jesus is not done yet.

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Jesus is not done with my story yet. He hasn’t lied to me, and I haven’t made a mistake by believing his words. I don’t know when or where or how, but one day, this promise that feels dead right now is going to rise, and it’s going to change the meaning of the word faithful for me.

My friends, he is capable of keeping his promises.

I’m not sure what promise God has spoken to you. I’m not sure if the promise feels like it could happen tomorrow or seems literally impossible, but this I know. God is capable, and he is not done yet.

What about you? Are there any promises that feel dead right now?

 

About Meghan Tschanz

I believe in love, empowerment. and adventure. The kind of love that believes in the face of adversity, the empowerment that allows people to step into their destiny, and the kind of adventure that leaves your heart pounding in your chest. I write because I want to remind us all that there is so much more to life.

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  • Sophie Ball

    Thank you for being raw and real and vulnerable with strangers. Your words breathed courage to my heart. My gratitude can not be put into words. Thank you for sharing your heart and your words with the world!

    • http://paintedorange.org Meghan Tschanz

      Sophie, it’s comments like these that make it all worth it. Thanks for reading and be encouraged today.

  • Rhonda Summers

    Beautiful reminder!

    • http://paintedorange.org Meghan Tschanz

      Thank you Rhonda!

  • Charles Payne

    Meghan, I can painfully and clearly recount my own setbacks in the military… I came to view the many wonderful things in my life as the works of my hands, instead of the the blessings of His. Thank you for using the resurrection to show so clearly that his ways are not our ways. For reminding us that he will provide.
    Hope I can one day capture your simplicity in my own WR blogs 🙂

    • http://paintedorange.org Meghan Tschanz

      Yes! Keep writing and sharing your journey!

  • Brant

    This is so good. Thanks Meghan

    • http://paintedorange.org Meghan Tschanz

      Thanks Brant!